Before a child entered my life, my adult day-to-day schedule was something that I did not pay too much attention to. Weekdays were filled with work and weekends with movie-watching, couch-sitting, gym-ratting and friend- seeing. I was able to get up whenever I wanted and go to bed whenever I wanted. I was also, gasp (!), able to take a shower without little hands trying to rip off the shower curtain.
All of that changed pretty dramatically once a baby entered our world. Little did I know that life with a baby is a walk in a park compared to life with a toddler! Our life has certainly changed…
A sample weekend (a.k.a. toddler is home all day) in our family:
I open my eyes and try to remember what my name is, why I’m awake earlier than our senior “let’s cut the grass at 8am on Sunday” neighbor and who and why is being tortured in our house. I also vaguely remember that the happily snoring man next to me is my husband and wake him up on my way to the nursery. After all, he had as much fun making this little human as I did, so we get equal amounts of sleep! No exceptions!
8 AM There are eggs and oatmeal on the floor, on the wall, on the stove and on the ceiling. There are, however, NO eggs OR oatmeal inside our toddler. I do not remember who invented Coffee, but it is truly a magical and holy drink. Need more coffee makers in this house!
9 AM Why are there so many kids in the hardware store? AH, it’s 9AM and the only people that actually think that a hardware store is a fun activity are parents with small kids that wake up at 6am! Do they sell coffee makers here???
11 AM Second attempt of the day to get some food inside our kid. A family lunch at a kid-friendly café (a.k.a . a place with a limited number of patrons and a grilled cheese option on the menu) . There is no doubt that this is our kid – he only eats outside of the house.
12 PM MAGIC HOUR – It’s nap time! A glorious hour of blissful quiet and serenity. I get to clean the floor, load the dishwasher, get some makeup on and have another coffee. Ah, the simple life!
1:30 PM NOOO!!!!! The nap is over and he is awake!!! I never knew how fast 90 minutes go by until I had a kid. (Need to wake husband from his nap!)
3 PM Buying groceries used to be my favorite activity! After all, it’s like an all-you-can-eat buffet that you carefully examine and decide what your stomach wants for breakfast/lunch/dinner the next week. Unfortunately, with a toddler it is a slightly more stressful affair. It starts off nicely, him sitting in the toddler seat in the grocery cart and carefully taking in his surroundings. It goes downhill from there. “JUICE!” “JUICEEEEEEEE!!!” “JUICE NOW!!!” – OK, honey, here you go, a box of juice. “BREAD!! “BREAD” “NOMNOMNOM” OK, honey, here is a piece of bread. Now – the real shopping starts, because, once the bread and juice are gone, we have 5 minutes to get out! It is always fun explaining to the cashier that the crumbles were a bagel for $1.40 and that the wet shirt on our kid was the organic apple juice from isle 5.
5 PM Ah, the playground! A child’s paradise and a parent’s nightmare. All I can hear is:
-“Lisa, please share, it’s the polite thing to do.”
-“Adam, it’s ok not to share; kids need to learn the concept of private property”.
-“Mike, don’t approach strangers!”
-“Adam, please say hi to the nice lady.”
-“Mary, don’t go on the slide without mommy!”
-“Kevin, you’re a big boy, you can go on the slide without mommy.”
-“I said: NO!”
-“I said: NO!”
It will be a miracle if our kids grow up and become meaningful members of society.